Sports Card Blogs

More Townsend, less Soccer Saturday, and more 2019 wishes

To wrap up the year of football on telly and radio, Johnny looks forward to 2019 and wishes upon a star for what the new year might bring on our televisions and wireless sets.

5live’s Monday Night Club is a weekly must-listen and an important place for the weekend action to be sliced and diced but there are two issues to be addressed. At two hours from 7pm to 9pm it is just not long enough. By the time you discount reports on other sports and the news reports, it’s probably only 90 minutes. It needs to be at least three hours each week. When Monday Night Football is on, record it on BBC Sounds so we can hear it later.

I’m still pushing for a commentators and presenters summit drawn from across all broadcasters and platforms, at least once per month. All these people are well-versed and knowledgeable and are great communicators – they have to be to do their job – so why not get them round a table at the start of every month to chew over what’s happened and what’s to come?

I’d love to hear a regular discussion about football media that doesn’t involve people who work in the belly of the beast and thus feel compromised.

For no reason that anyone can discern talkSPORT’s Trans Euro Express isn’t available as a podcast. As it’s three hours long, it’s the perfect download for a long train journey. Let’s hope 2019 sees it become available this way again.

We need more Don Hutchison punditry on the radio in 2019 please, as well as some high profile co-comms on TV.

Terrestrial TV must have a regular football documentary slot. There are so many issues that need a light shone on them and only terrestrial TV has the potential to maximise an audience for it.

Can we put an end to the “who will win the league?” question to pundits from day one of the season? It’s pointless. We know no-one knows, nor can they tell what is going to happen. There are so many variables.

The return of the European Football Show to BT Sport with James Richardson and co. When it was cruelly axed in 2017 it was the single best football magazine show on TV. If BT Sport don’t want to do it anymore, then someone else needs to. C’mon BBC, stop spending money on antiques programmes and property porn and invest in something which really educates, informs and entertains. That, after all, is what you’re charged with doing

Hopefully 2019 will see the break-up of the Soccer Saturday panel. Sadly, it’s become predictable and old-fashioned. While it’s reliable in what it delivers – and there is value in that – it really needs to be freshened up with more diverse contributors. Even though Jeff Stelling remains the absolute master of live broadcasting, everything has its day and in the current format, it has run its course. BT Sport’s Score just looks more modern and while far from perfect, is more interesting and colourful. It looks like the future. You can’t say that about SS.

Last year I felt that football phone-ins had had their day and in the age of social media no longer seemed relevant, and though popular with callers, were a bit tedious for listeners who hear enough people who don’t know much about football when we’re at the game, thank you very much. I still feel that’s too often the case but I’m pleased to report that 606 has begun to steer away from the old format by introducing features, quizzes and the like. It has made the whole thing more interesting.

It’s also been good to hear the likes of Chris Sutton and Robbie Savage call out some of those who ring in for being massively wrong or badly uninformed. Moving away from taking callers seriously to taking the pish out of them is definitely a good direction to go in and far more entertaining. Hearing Sutton shouting “what pub are you in?” at someone talking nonsense always makes me laugh. Robbie telling a Brighton fan who wanted Chris Hughton sacked, saying that in nine years this was the most astonishing call he’d taken, was delightful. Danny Kelly on talkSPORT has always led the way in this, as in so many things, occasionally dishing out a right caning to some of the barf-ocracy.

In 2019 can we have more Andy Townsend on our radio and TV please? More than that, let’s have him back in tandem with Clive in and around a commentary box on whatever channel needs top notch performers. Oh how we miss those ITV Champions League nights. You know what? We didn’t know how good we had it back then. We really didn’t. We took it all for granted. Look out for some quality Clive later in this piece.

More experts, less ex-players. The shocking principle that writers and journalists can be incredibly articulate and insightful with regards to the game is now well-proven by the likes of Gab Marcotti, Rafa Honigstein and many, many more. But they do tend to ply their trade on the leftfield, niche end of the spectrum, or on specific journo-only shows. In 2019 let’s see more mainstream football insight delivered by far fewer ex-players and more from other professions. MotD, Sky and BT Sport need to get non-players into their studios on a regular basis, the way talkSPORT, 5live and podcasts do. This is not an argument not to use the old pro, but only to use those who are very, very good or when having experience of playing at such a level is needed.

Betting companies are clearly worried that the world has woken up to the fact that they are A Big Problem. But cleverly, they have financially inculcated themselves into the warp and weft of football to such an extent that we cannot do without their money under the current circumstances. However, many people are really sodding sick of the omnipresent ads which are bending the minds of vulnerable children and adults and depressing the hell out of the rest of us. Life can be better than this. In 2019, let’s see less gambling ads and more creative solutions to funding football that doesn’t involve an industry which ruins so many lives. The fun has stopped, so let’s make a better world for ourselves and our children which doesn’t rely on gambling to give excitement and worth to existence.

A small thing this, but can any commentator or pundit using the phrase “the proof will be in the pudding” please realise that the expression is actually “the proof of the pudding is in the eating”. It is the eating which proves how good the pudding is. There is no proof of anything until you eat the pudding. See? So what you’re saying makes absolutely no sense. Thank you.

In 2019 it’d be nice if we simply abstained from the shallow, facile, sexist, racist and misogynist football press and deprive them of income until they change their ways. While they can monetise base human behaviour, they will. So it’s our fault for patronising them. We can only effect change via our behaviour and economic activity.

Commentators, co-comms and pundits should always actually know the current rules of the modern game. This isn’t always the case. A ball hitting a hand isn’t always a penalty and a tackle can be reckless even if you win the ball.

There should be an automatic dismissal for any older pundit saying “…these days, with three points for a win…”. It’s dying out but still occasionally happens.

More Steve Claridge on the radio would be lovely in 2019. One of the game’s true eccentrics who is never not entertaining. He’s on as I write this, actually. A great voice. A real pleasure. He once played the flute, you know.

Can we have an end to witless reporting about footballers and their everyday lives of shopping, eating and just standing somewhere? If anyone is interested, they shouldn’t be. I’d also like to see an end to the women in footballers’ lives being referred to as if they are a mere piece of meat to be w*nked over. Don’t click, don’t buy. It hurts us all.

In 2019 it’d be nice for us to see the start of a campaign for the return to terrestrial TV of the Champions League. With UEFA increasingly concerned about viewing figures and advertisers even more so, the argument for it to return to mainstream, free-to-air TV in part or whole has never been stronger.

How about 2019 being the year fans got some self-awareness and stopped complaining about people in the media being biased against their club when, almost by definition, fans are the most biased and are in absolutely no way objective.

How about 2019 being the year we stopped indignantly complaining about the officials as we sit watching the fifth slow motion replay that proves they got a call wrong. It’s shallow and unfair.

And finally, how about 2019 being the year we abandon subscription services and in doing so strip out the TV money from the game and hasten the breaking of football’s funding model, which has existed since 1992 and has taken football away from so many people. Remember, not a single Premier League game has ever been broadcast live, free-to-air. They stole the game from us, told us our jail was freedom and transformed the whole of the culture of the game by excluding people who didn’t have ever greater amounts of money to spend on something they once got for free at the point of use. Let us foment a revolution which uncouples the game from big business and corporate culture, kisses the big media money goodbye, and in doing so makes paying insane fees and wages for and to players impossible. We want our game back from the cold and choking fingers of global capitalism  We have literally nothing to lose except the financial chains the Premier League has used to shackle us for 26 years. It doesn’t have to be this way and one day, it will not be this way any more if we, the people, take the collective power we have and use it for the greater good. Amen.

What The People Say
We all consume so much football on radio and TV that it wasn’t surprising to see so many people had something to suggest. One thing stood out time and again and that was the desire to hear a lot more writers and experts in place of ex-players as pundits. I didn’t include any that just voiced dislike of specific individuals, nor anything about football per se, as opposed to football on the TV and radio. But I tried to represent as many views as possible.

This week I had a great chat with the legendary Clive Tyldesley about the future of TV football commentary.  Here’s what he had to say.

“I hear more conversational commentary now. I don’t know if it’s policy or if it’s simply a lazy drift into stream of consciousness broadcasting. When a commentary becomes too chummy and familiar it can start to exclude the viewer. I don’t like too much commentary that cuts across the pictures. Talk about what we are watching. It’s a visual medium. The soundtrack is secondary. If you can supplement the shot that the director has chosen then add information or reflection but follow the pictures, don’t try to take over.

“I also think that pally exchanges subtract from the sense of occasion and drama. You are there to give the armchair viewer a sense of what it’s like to be in that stadium. Don’t take them out of the arena into a lesser world of prattle and in-jokes. Try not to think out loud – ‘think and then speak’ as my mentor Reg Gutteridge always told me. Reg would say ‘if it’s worth saying, say it. Don’t qualify it’. He used to encourage me to try to choose words and fashion thoughts in advance rather than think out loud and just witter on.

“Use research where and when it’s relevant, not simply because you’ve done it. Maybe because there is so much televised football, the games take on less significance to the broadcaster attending several in a week. Oh and commentators should know the laws. We should not require in-game input from ex referees!”

Fine words from one of the masters of the profession.

Now for your thoughts:

‘More diversity in pundits’ club backgrounds that Sky and BT use for live games, instead of the usual cartel of ex-Liverpool and United players that are used for every game, even for those involving rival teams. Some get used purely because they played for Liverpool and United and not on ability. I’ve said for years that each Premier League or EFL clubs should appoint one or two designated club pundits that the TV companies should use for live games involving their club. Shakes things up, different views instead of the same old, same old.’

‘Less tabloid journos, always desperate to create a narrative, rarely insightful. If I wanted their thoughts I’d buy a paper.’

‘Sky to limit replays to when the ball isn’t in play. Particularly now with more passing out from the back likely to lead to cocks ups/excitement.’

‘Conor McNamara to host a millennium barn dance at Yeovil aerodrome. Properly policed. It must not, I repeat, not, turn into an all-night rave.

‘More women’s football being televised.’

‘I’d just like to see TV pundits held more accountable for baseless opinions. In their position, I’d expect them to do significantly more research than they actually do. A lot of them are blagging their way through.’

‘I’d like to be able to watch football without commentators.’

‘TV comms to admit that a match is terrible. It happens on the radio but never on Sky.’

‘Discussion on tactics and how they fit with different types of players.’

‘More of the tactical cam, or just the ability to choose to watch the game from that view.’

‘Old European finals. And I mean, like, OLD – not the current vogue for re-showing all Champions League finals. Give us some Fairs Cup re-runs.’

‘I’d like to see the return of Simon Thomas.’

‘Ray Hudson. We need to have much more Ray Hudson.’

‘Another World Cup! Seriously though I’m missing the Spanish and Italian football not being on a TV channel. So disappointing.’

‘More David Pleat and Sir Trevor Brooking on 5live and Steve Wilson to do more radio work.’

‘F365 TV.’

‘Sky need to up their game in terms of the SPFL coverage if they are to prove worthy of having exclusive rights from 2020/21. More of the same simply won’t do. Fans of all 12 clubs need to feel they are important and an injection of humour into the coverage too.’

‘More Gary Nevilles and Guillem Balagues and Alex Scotts.’

‘The Scottish championship extended highlights and analysis.’

‘Lee Dixon’s analysis is brilliant. Other analysts have a tendency to say ‘terrible defending’, without elaborating. Lee goes into great detail about what went wrong, and what the player(s) should’ve done. He has a sense of humour, but it’s not overbearing.’

‘Bin off post-match interviews, utterly useless. A man who’s ran 10km and is absolutely shagged will offer no meaningful insight no matter who he is.’

‘Commentators and pundits not to talk about Pochettino to Man Utd during a Spurs game.’

‘More Kelly Cates, Mark Chapman, Danny Kelly, Jason Mohammed.’

‘More Champion and McCoist on tour. Send them to far-off Europa League ties where they explore local history and culture. Not even that arsed if they go to the football game, actually.’

‘No statistic should be used unless pundit/commentator is prepared to explain what it means and why it’s a good/bad thing.’

‘Less of the clichés from Sky; the shouting on Soccer Saturday, Martin Tyler roaring “AAAAAAND IT’S LIVE!!!!” just before they go to a gambling advert immediately before kickoff, stupid gambling ads ‘starring’ the Soccer Saturday pundits, the Deadline Day crap with Jim White.’

‘Simple idea. A panel of ex-referees calmly reviewing the weekend’s action and explaining why decisions were made, why some are 50/50 calls and if they are clearly wrong, what can be learned from them. Will probably get very low ratings but will add light rather than heat.’

‘More Iain Dowie.’

‘Liam Rosenior. Talks well and really knows his stuff.’

‘The Barry Glendenning Show.’

‘Less fear over new ideas or, more positively, British football people taking on new ideas (Southgate seems like a good example of this).’

‘More Bellamy, less Neville.’

‘More experimentation in general. Give me an all-female panel or commentary box. Give me intelligence, perceptiveness and humour in equal measure. Educate, inform and entertain. Call out things that need to be called out. In short, tell me something I don’t know.’

‘A 24/7 fly-on-the-wall documentary which films Tim Sherwood going about the business of being Tim Sherwood. Basically 2 hours a week of this:

Thanks for all your comments all year long. I wish you all a contented and rewarding 2019 full of love and light.

John Nicholson